Usually I find a visit to Aladdin’s closet as an expanding universe. This morning the opposite was the case. As soon as I entered the closet the walls started to shrink inward. Soon I needed to stoop down as the ceiling and walls were closing in on me. Even the floor started to come upward. The shape shifting walls reoriented themselves to the outside shape of my body. I felt a pressure like a tight fitting glove squeezing my entire body. I started to retreat inward and found that although my body was being compressed I was not. I had separated “me” from “my” body. Also, I lost any sense of physical sensation. I kept thinking as I retreated I am getting smaller and smaller, like Alice In Wonderland after she drank from the bottle marked “Drink Me.” However, it was my essence that seemed to be shrinking in addition to my body. I soon realized that although I thought it was my body image that was retreating inward it was not. As I felt I was shrinking I started to look for the “me” that seemed to be getting smaller but I could not find it. If I was aware of being “me” but I was not physically getting squeezed or getting smaller then I should be able to just walk out of the closet; which I did.
Now that I was outside the closet I could see everything that was happening inside the closet with clear insight. By this time the walls had retreated back to their original size and so did “my” body. I found my essence outside the closet to be free of all of the idiosyncrasies of habit that had been accumulated over the years. Now in plain sight were all of the desires, wants, fears, resistances, restlessness and doubts that had been blocking the natural joy of my essence. They were like a kink in a garden hose that prevents the water from flowing freely. All that was needed to straighten them out was to see it from the outside and allow Spiritual Gravity to pull the hose straight.
If habit created all of the blockages then habit could disperse them. I saw that just letting go of one blockage at a time or in this instance seeing them all dropped at once was a path to a free spirit. In every moment we have a choice of feeling the squeeze of the blockages or flowing with our true essence. Letting go of the resistance to allowing whatever is happening to be happening (it already is happening anyway ) is the key. Doesn’t it seem foolish to try to stop something that is actually happening from having already happened. Once the milk has spilled you cannot pour it back into the container. Sure you did not want it to have spilled and you may not enjoy cleaning it up. But why add more bad feelings by holding on to the resistance that you do not want to be solving this problem. Why do we stay in the prison of the mind when the door is always opened and we can walk out at any time? Once you practice letting go it becomes easier and easier. And from Star Wars remember “your focus determines your reality.” Meditation practice builds awareness of body sensations that are a precursor to developing the ability to let go. The sooner you realize you are holding and blocking your happiness the easier it is to let it go and return to being happy.